Pizza Hut Park 'cursed' by ancient Burger King site

[AreliusII]

FC Dallas may have to tear down its new Pizza Hut Park soccer stadium and build it elsewhere after discovering it is cursed by the remains of a historic Burger King site that was demolished to make way for the new ground.

Since moving to the stadium, Dallas has failed to win in five MLS home matches. Team officials are now attributing the bad run to news that the field has been hoodooed by bad vibes from the destroyed Burger King franchise, which was bulldozed without taking into account its cultural, culinary and historical significance.

The burger restaurant is thought to have been built as long ago as 1967. When plans for the new stadium were announced, a protest group called the Society for Chain Restaurant Alimentation Polluted by Injected Enhancements (SCRAPIE) immediately launched a 24-hour vigil outside the threatened outlet to bring public attention to the imminent demolition of what they see as a significant symbol of the finest in American cuisine.

"Sure, soccer is important to a few people," said SCRAPIE spokesperson Edie Coli, "but it's not a traditional part of American life, like burgers are. They should have chosen somewhere else to build this place instead of just trampling over Texan heritage. There are unknown forces underneath that field, like ancient discarded wrappings and ossified fries, and some of us believe that?s making trouble for the team."

Coli is convinced the final straw for the stadium was when the new name was announced. "By that time we were sadly resigned to losing that beautiful little Burger King," she went on. "But when they announced the name of the ground would be Pizza Hut Park, that was one final slap in the face. Pizza and burgers are rivals. Everyone knows that. That really incurred the wrath of the unknown burger forces."

FC Dallas coach Colin Clarke reportedly dropped top-scoring strikers Carlos Ruiz and Eddie Johnson for last Saturday's home game with DC United because the pair were upset at inexplicably weird 'happenings' that were distracting them on the field.

"Carlos claims he was put off one of his famous overhead kicks when he heard a spooky voice say, Is that for here or to go?" said Clarke. "After that, all his dives were timed really badly and we stopped getting free kicks. And Eddie was unsettled when he was lining up to shoot and Chivas goalkeeper Brad Guzan seemed to take on the form of a giant ketchup bottle. These lads are no strangers to fast food, but they were shaken hard and I was forced to bench them."

Experts say the club should have foreseen the curse. Professor Steven Kulldiggory, head of the Department of Occult, Nutrition and Underfield Terror (DONUT) at the Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt University in Hades, Missouri, said, "This is more than just a coincidence. You can't mess with ancient victual sites and expect to get away with it. It's pizza v burger, which is a historic rivalry, and it won't end until Pizza Hut Park is razed to the ground.

"Unless of course Dallas follows up its win last night against Chicago in the Open Cup by beating Salt Lake City on Saturday," said the DONUT chief. "Which they probably will. But after that I won't be available for comment."

[SoccerPrime]

LOL

Total rep for this one Arelius

[prk166]

classic!

It would explain a lot.