FIFA to ease US World Cup qualification route

AreliusII · 09-15-2005, 01:31 PM

The world's soccer governing body, FIFA, has announced that the US national team will face a much easier path to the 2010 World Cup finals, after worries that this year's campaign was way too tough.

"The US only qualified with three games to spare," said a FIFA spokesperson. "That's almost too late for important US-based sponsors such as Budweiser and Coke. We need to guarantee the millions they pour into our coffers much sooner."

Instead of facing road ties in far-flung destinations such as neighboring Mexico, soccer giants such as Panama or Barbados, and partisan crowds in hostile nations such as Canada, the US team will be given what FIFA has labeled a 'rationalized schedule' to shield the team from the rigors of the road, where they often have to play countries supported by actual soccer fans.

Under the new format, the US will play a home and home tie against the Netherlands Antilles, with both games to be played in Foxboro, Massachusetts, in mid-January to ensure minimal support for the away side. Should they win, the US will qualify directly for 2010.

"In the past," said the FIFA source, "home fans in the US have been outnumbered by crazed, fanatical visitors. It just wasn't fair. This way, the number of likely travelers from the Netherlands Antilles will be kept to a minimum."

US star Landon Donovan agreed with the move, saying, "Some of those folks down there in central America are meanies. They say rude things and chant nasty stuff about America. It nearly makes me cry. I'm glad we won't be going there any more, so there."

US coach Bruce Arena was firmly focused on the route ahead. "Those will be two tough games," he said. "We won't take anything for granted." Then, turning to his son, he added, "Kenny my boy, it's time to suit up in the red white and blue!"

huntingfool12 · 09-15-2005, 01:33 PM

alrighty then.

Aerick · 09-15-2005, 05:28 PM

Excellent!! Rep for you!

Scholesy · 09-15-2005, 10:37 PM

That's just brilliant! Fantastic!

prk166 · 09-16-2005, 07:11 AM

Darn it. I was hoping to see that CONCACAF was going to pull back on the number of qualifiers the big boys in the region had to play.

rabble-rabble · 10-03-2005, 09:10 AM

Hey, this scenario wasn't that much easier than Mexico's second round matches against the "ampersands".

Hiddnfox · 10-03-2005, 12:34 PM

just goes to show, it all about the money

Scilaci · 10-04-2005, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AreliusII

US star Landon Donovan agreed with the move, saying, "Some of those folks down there in central America are meanies. They say rude things and chant nasty stuff about America. It nearly makes me cry. I'm glad we won't be going there any more, so there."

That paragraph is just a classic. Oh boy. I laugh every time I read it. "meanies"