DaMarcus Boozely

[AreliusIV]

The AP reports this morning that beloved PSV and USMNT midfielder DaMarcus Beasely has been charged with drunk driving in Eindhoven.

I like to think of this as another sign that the US is coming up in the world. Other teams have at least one bad-boy figure who's always going out to clubs, boozing it up, getting into fights, carousing with tarts, etc. By contrast, the USMNT is composed of a bunch of choirboys whose worst offense is posing for a borderline-gay photo shoot in the New York Times magazine (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Now we've got a bad boy of our own, and it's not even his first offense. DMB got into trouble with Dutch customs authorities last year when he failed to declare several items upon returning from the US. That one was disposed of in an out of court settlement, but one wonders whether the judge will be so forgiving of DaMarcus' current offense in light of his burgeoning criminal record.

So, from the perspective of the USMNT, does this make any difference, or is it just a titillating news tidbit. One point is that Bruce has shown himself to be very critical of players who make mistakes in judgment that lead them to be sanctioned. When Clint Dempsey got in a fight with Joey Franchino and was suspended by the Revs, Bruce withdrew Clint's invite to play in the Germany friendly (even though that meant we'd be bringing an even weaker team). I suppose if a player had repeated trouble (serious trouble, not a customs offense and one drunk driving charge) with the law, Bruce might take that into account, but I really doubt this is anything more than an embarrassment for DMB at this stage. I could see Bruce teasing him about it but not suspending him.

On the other hand, a small part of me worries if DMB is on a bit of a downward spiral. He suffered a serious injury late last season, and hasn't really gotten back into the groove that he was in back in 2004-05 with PSV. He's lost his starting spot, and I don't think he's even scored a goal for Eindhoven all year. You can imagine that living in a foreign country (especially in the freezing part of Europe like Eindhoven) and struggling with your career might drive one to have a frosty ****tail or two, and perhaps even also to make the not-great decision of driving afterward. I don't of course know the whole story but my thought is that if anything is of concern here it's not that DMB drove drunk on one occasion, but about what led him to do so in the first instance. Ultimately, though, I don't think much will come of this other than the pun that is the title of this post.

[Deuce]

I just saw that on a blog...
That is crap news. Will he be suspended from the World Cup?
http://www.catoptric.com/argie-bargie/?p=455

[AreliusIV]

Redneck version:

Th' AP repo'ts this hyar mo'nin' thet beloved PSV an' USMNT midfielder DaMarcus Beasely has been charged wif drunk drivin' in Eindhoven, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah like t'reckon of this hyar as t'other sign thet th' US is a-comin' up in th' wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. Other teams haf at least one bad-fella figger who's allus gwine out t'clubs, boozin' it up, gittin' into fights, carousin' wif tarts, etc. By corntrast, th' USMNT is composed of a bunch of choirfellas whose wo'st offense is posin' fo' a bo'derline-gay photo shoot in th' Noo Yawk Times magazine (not thet thar's ennythin' wrong wif thet). Now we've got a bad fella of our own, an' it's not even his fust offense. DMB got into trouble wif Dutch cestoms autho'ities last year when he failed t'declare sevahal items upon returnin' fum th' US. Thet one was disposed of in an outta court settlement, but one wonners whether th' judge will be so fo'givin' of DaMarcus' current offense in light of his burgeonin' criminal reco'd, cuss it all t' tarnation. So, fum th' perspeckive of th' USMNT, does this hyar make enny difference, o' is it jest a titillatin' noos tidbit. One point is thet Brooce has shown hisse'f t'be mighty critical of players who make mistakes in judgment thet lead them t'be sanckshuned, cuss it all t' tarnation. When Clint Dempsey got in a fight wif Billy Joey Franchino an' was suspended by th' Revs, Brooce wifdrew Clint's invite t'play in th' Germenny friendly (even though thet meant we'd be brin'in' an even weaker team). ah suppose eff'n a player had repeated trouble (serious trouble, not a cestoms offense an' one drunk drivin' charge) wif th' law, Brooce might take thet into account, but ah pow'ful doubt this hyar is ennythin' mo'e than an embarrassment fo' DMB at this hyar stage. ah c'd see Brooce teasin' him about it but not suspendin' him, dawgone it. On t'other han', a small part of me wo'ries eff'n DMB is on a bit of a downward spiral, ah reckon. He suffered a serious injury late last season, an' hain't pow'ful gotten back into th' groove thet he was in back in 2004-05 wif PSV. He's lost his startin' spot, an' ah doesn't reckon he's even sco'ed a goal fo' Eindhoven all year. Yo' kin imagine thet livin' in a fo'eign country (especially in th' freezin' part of Europe like Eindhoven) an' strugglin' witcher career might drive one t'have a frosty ****tail o' two, an' perhaps even also t'make th' not-great decishun of drivin' af'erward, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah doesn't of course knows th' whole sto'y but mah thunk is thet eff'n ennythin' is of corncern hyar it's not thet DMB drove drunk on one occashun, but about whut led him t'do so in th' fust instance. Ultimately, though, ah doesn't reckon much will come of this hyar other than th' pun thet is th' title of this hyar post.

[AreliusIV]

Jive version:

De AP repo'ts dis mo'nin' dat beloved PSV and USMNT midfielda' DaMarcus Beasely gots been charged wid drunk drivin' in Eindhoven. 'S coo', bro. I likes t'dink uh dis as anoda' sign dat da damn US be comin' down in de wo'ld. Oda' teams gots at least one baaaad-boy figure who's always goin' out t'clubs, boozin' it down, digtin' into fights, carousin' wid tarts, etc. Co' got d' beat! By contrast, de USMNT be composed uh a bunch uh choirboys whose wo'st offense be posin' fo' some bo'derline-gay photo shoot in de New Yo'k Times issue of GQ (not dat dere's nuthin wrong wid dat). Now we've gots some baaaad boy uh our own, and it's not even his fust offense. DMB gots into trouble wid Dutch customs audo'ities last year when he failed t'declare several items downon returnin' fum de US. Dat one wuz disposed uh in an out uh court settlement, but one wonders wheda' de judge gots'ta be so's fo'givin' uh DaMarcus' current offense in light uh his burgeonin' criminal reco'd. So, fum de puh'spective uh de USMNT, duz dis make any difference, o' be it plum a titillatin' news tidbit. Man! One point be dat Bruce gots shown himself t'be real critical uh players who make missnatch'd in judgment dat lead dem t'be sancshuned. When Clint Dempsey gots in some fight wid Massa' y Franchino and wuz suspended by de Revs, Bruce widdrew Clint's invite t'play in de Germany homeyly (even dough dat meant we'd be brin'in' an even weaka' team). ah' suppose if some playa' had repeated trouble (serious trouble, not some customs offense and one drunk drivin' charge) wid de law, Bruce might snatch dat into account, but ah' real doubt dis be nuthin mo'e dan an embarrassment fo' DMB at dis stage. ah' could see Bruce teasin' him about it but not suspendin' him. WORD! On de oda' hand, some small part uh me wo'ries if DMB be on some bit uh a waaay downward spiral. He suffered some serious injury late last season, and ain't real gotsten back into de groove dat he wuz in back in 2004-05 wid PSV. He's lost his startin' spot, and ah' duzn't dink he's even sco'ed some goal fo' Eindhoven all year. Ah be baaad... You's kin imagine dat livin' in some fo'eign country (especially in de freezin' part uh Europe likes Eindhoven) and strugglin' wid yo' carea' might roll one t'have some frosty ****tail o' two, and puh'haps even also t'make da damn not-great decision uh drivin' afterward. ah' duzn't uh course know de whole sto'y but mah' dought be dat if nuthin be of concern here it's not dat DMB drove drunk on one occasion, but about whut led him t'do so's in de fust instance. Ultimately, dough, ah' duzn't dink much gots'ta come uh dis oda' dan de pun dat be de title uh dis post. Man!

[AreliusIV]

****ney version:

The AP reports this mornin' that beluvd PSV and USMNT midfielder DaMarcus Beasely 'as been charged wiv drunk drivin' in Eindhoven. I like ter ffink of this as anuvver sign that the US is comin' up in the world. Uvver teams 'ave at least one bad-boy figure 'oo's always gahn out ter clubs, right, boozin' it up, gettin' into fights, carousin' wiv tarts, etc. By contrast, the chuffin' USMNT is composed of a bunch of choirfellas 'oose worst offense is posin' for a borderline-gay photo shoot in the bleedin' New York Times magazine (not that there's anyfink wrong wiv that). Now we've got a bad boy of us own, and it's not even 'is first offense. DMB got into Barney Rubble wiv Dutch customs aufforities last year wen 'e failed ter declare several items upon returnin' from the chuffin' US. That one were disposed of in an out of court settlement, right, but one wonders weffer the judge will be so forgivin' of DaMarcus' current offense in light of 'is burgeonin' criminal record. So, right, from the perspective of the USMNT, right, does this make any difference, or is it just a titillatin' news tidbit. One point is that Bruce 'as shown 'imself ter be right critical of players 'oo make mistakes in judgment that lead them ter be sanctioned. Wen Clint Dempsey got in a fight wiv Joey Franchino and were suspended by the Revs, Bruce wivdrew Clint's invite ter play in the bleedin' Germany muckerly (even fough that meant we'd be bringing an even weaker team). I spose if a player 'ad repeated Barney Rubble (serious Barney Rubble, not a customs offense and one drunk drivin' charge) wiv the chuffin' lor, Bruce might take that into account, but I right doubt this is anyfink more than an embarrassment for DMB at this stage. I could spot Bruce teasin' 'im about it but not suspendin' 'im. On the chuffin' uvver 'and, right, a wee part of me worries if DMB is on a bit of a dahnward spiral. I'll get out me spoons. He suffered a serious injury late last season, right, and 'asn't right gotten hammer and tack into the bleedin' groove that 'e were in hammer and tack in 2004-05 wiv PSV. He's lost 'is startin' spot, and I don't fink 'e's even scored a goal for Eindhoven all year. Yer can imagine that livin' in a foreign country (especially in the chuffin' freezin' part of Europe like Eindhoven) and strugglin' wiv yor career might drive one ter have a frosty ****tail or two, and peraps even also ter make the not-great decision of drivin' afterward. I don't o'course know the chuffin' 'oole story but me fought is that if anyfink is of concern 'ere it's not that DMB drove drunk on one occasion, but about wot led 'im ter do so in the bloomin' first instance. Ultimately, ffough, I don't fink much will come of this uvver than the pun that is the title of this post.

[AreliusIV]

Elmer Fudd version:

De AP wepowts this mowning that bewoved PSV and USMNT midfiewdew DaMawcus Beasewy has been chawged wif dwunk dwiving in Eindhoven, uh-hah-hah-hah. I wike to think of this as anothew sign that the US is coming up in the wowwd. Othew teams have at weast one bad-boy figuwe who's awways going out to cwubs, boozing it up, getting into fights, cawousing wif tawts, etc. By contwast, the USMNT is composed of a bunch of choiwboys whose wowst offense is posing fow a bowdewwine-gay photo shoot in the New Yowk Times magazine (not that thewe's anything wwong wif that). Now we've got a bad boy of ouw own, and it's not even his fiwst offense. DMB got into twoubwe wif Dutch customs authowities wast yeaw when he faiwed to decwawe sevewaw items upon wetuwning fwom the US. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Dat one was disposed of in an out of couwt settwement, but one wondews whethew the judge wiww be so fowgiving of DaMawcus' cuwwent offense in wight of his buwgeoning cwiminaw wecowd. So, fwom the pewspective of the USMNT, does this make any diffewence, ow is it just a titiwwating news tidbit. One point is that Bwuce has shown himsewf to be vewy cwiticaw of pwayews who make mistakes in judgment that wead them to be sanctioned. When Cwint Dempsey got in a fight wif Joey Fwanchino and was suspended by the Wevs, Bwuce withdwew Cwint's invite to pway in the Gewmany fwiendwy (even though that meant we'd be bwinging an even weakew team). I suppose if a pwayew had wepeated twoubwe (sewious twoubwe, not a customs offense and one dwunk dwiving chawge) wif the waw, Bwuce might take that into account, but I weawwy doubt this is anything mowe than an embawwassment fow DMB at this stage. I couwd see Bwuce teasing him about it but not suspending him. On the othew hand, a smaww pawt of me wowwies if DMB is on a bit of a downwawd spiwaw. He suffewed a sewious injuwy wate wast season, and hasn't weawwy gotten back into the gwoove that he was in back in 2004-05 wif PSV. He's wost his stawting spot, and I don't think he's even scowed a goaw fow Eindhoven aww yeaw. You can imagine that wiving in a foweign countwy (especiawwy in the fweezing pawt of Euwope wike Eindhoven) and stwuggwing wif youw caweew might dwive one to have a fwosty ****taiw ow two, and pewhaps even awso to make the not-gweat decision of dwiving aftewwawd. I don't of couwse know the whowe stowy but my thought is that if anything is of concewn hewe it's not that DMB dwove dwunk on one occasion, but about what wed him to do so in the fiwst instance. Uwtimatewy, though, I don't think much wiww come of this othew than the pun that is the titwe of this post.

[Jose Luis Luviano]

That explains that wide-open shot that he missed against Mexico.

[Old Ska]

Do you know how messed up you have to be to get pulled over for driving under the influence in Holland?!?!?!

[BroncsBomber]

I think DMB was boarderline starting anyway with the emergence of Bobby Convey and Clint Demsey. Although I still want to see Dempsey toughen up and stay on his feet for more than 5 minutes in an international match. He is starting to look a little like Carlos Ruiz out there.

[Burninator]

Originally Posted by BroncsBomber

I think DMB was boarderline starting anyway with the emergence of Bobby Convey and Clint Demsey. Although I still want to see Dempsey toughen up and stay on his feet for more than 5 minutes in an international match. He is starting to look a little like Carlos Ruiz out there.

Who, Dempsey the Golden Child? I swear, the only reason that guy dives is because he gets the calls. Like, ALL of them. It pisses me off. I wonder what World Cup refs would do to him...we might get to find out!!!

⚽ Geoff
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